Selflessness for the self.

March 31:
These ideas aren’t complete… just semi-cogent.

Does selflessness exist? We can consider the ideal within the word: doing something for the sake of anyone but yourself, with no consideration to yourself. Is this possible, at all? In reality, it can be denied: most develop a sense of well-being from doing good for others; thus, the motivation becomes doing something to feel good about yourself. Self-sacrifice, in the minds of many, turns itself into self-serving actions, and thus there can be no such thing as altruism.

Ultimately, two things stand in the way of altruism being a real thing, both related to the mootness of the idea. First, and I admit I learned this from the book “The Art of Loving” by Eric Fromm: the common ideal of “love thy neighbor as you love thyself.” Though this is the biblical-ish version, it is a fairly widespread idea. In it is implied that in order to love your neighbor, you must love yourself. This can be considered a particularly selfish idea, self-love, but inherently essential for love of your neighbor. Thus, “altruism” can only be committed to if you have a personal stake in it, a paradox.

Second, the idea that we as people in society can truly become independent decision makers. What we do reverberates throughout society and ultimately comes back to us in some way… I suppose many might call this karma. Regardless, we can not expect to be actors in society and not receive reflections of our actions. It just so happens that altruistic and positive behaviors are typically reflected back in a similarly positive manner. Thus, it becomes an almost simplistic and childish idea that we can choose to act a certain way without its consequences affecting us. The idea that most are, or are capable of being, incognizant of this is even more unrealistic. So in reality, it is almost impossible to act “altruistically.” The one exception being giving something extremely, extremely valuable, particularly your life. Once it’s given, there’s no way to receive any reward. (Unless you believe there is an afterlife or something similar, in which case it’s still ultimately self-serving.)

This is in no way a negative thing. I find it ridiculous to the utmost to expect altruism as the greatest good, for the above reason. Being helpful, caring, etc. makes society a better place, and ultimately makes it better for me. This drive for the greatest good for everyone in order to create the greatest good for yourself is the ultimate Great Good, in my opinion. It is where the line between self and community blurs, and they become one. I become the community, the community becomes us all together. On a societal level, utopian to the extreme, but on an individual level, perfectly reasonable and achievable. I know many who push themselves to this ideal, and I try to model myself after that.

April 2:
If we take the above as valid, even in the remote, then we can at least consider that the most we can achieve is not selflessness, but that others become equivalent to the self. Self-love becomes love for others by nature; I believe this would be the essence of compassion and empathy. This makes the most sense to me.

Thus, a fully “selfless” person, hereby fully empathetic, does things for others as if they were himself. This then transcends the idea of “them and me,” to be only “me;” in essence, we become fully selfish. I believe someone else came up with this idea as “My narcissism has gone global.” I think it’s the ONE campaign. (I’ve since been informed that it’s Product (RED)… thanks Mike.)

April 8:
I’ve recently been re-going over the book The Art of Loving by Eric Fromm, and one important point that he makes, which is strongly supported in general by psychologists, is that a person who can’t love themselves is incapable of loving others. This conjures the idea that being completely self-less could possibly occur if you value yourself so little that all others are automatically above you… this is impossible, a paradox. You must love yourself–must give to yourself–if you plan on doing so for others. Giving to others is then, by nature, an action pursuant to loving oneself; one must first be self-serving before being self-less, or fully empathetic.